wow where has the time gone

Oh Lordy he looks crazy oh wait
he is...that's crazy Bob

Mike and Bobby tring to load the caddy
on the car trailer


OMG the Caddy is going!!!
Jakob and Scooter
Jake, Kassandra, Alex and Brad
Jake with his pumpkin
Jakob and his pumpkin again

Jakob update

what we thought was a rash from the pool turned out to be chicken pox!! Jakob was the 13th case in the 4th grade at his school!! But he is dealing well with them!!!!

lesson learned today

Never ever get your hopes up so much that in the end it gets you so upset you are almost in tears.let me expain. I am going to school as some of you know to become a real estate agent. At first I was having second douts about a broker that I was going to sign with. I went to a meeting and walked away very confused. Today I desided it would be make or break with this broker and went to another meeting. At the meeting I learned of the "training" and desided that it would be o.k. for me to give this broker a chance. I knew there was a sign on fee but never did I realize that the sign on fee was so much. When I first talked to him there was no sign on fee and I did not sign on when I first talked to him. Now he has implyed this fee of $600. I came home read over my contract....still on a high of getting hands on training this week with a mentor. I even got keys!!! I contacted the broker via email to see if there was a way we can work out the fee, lets face it I do not have $600 to sign on but was willing to work for it, payment plan, anything. He nicely said no there could not be a payment thing or work out thing because my mentor that was assigned and the secertary ( btw is my aunt ) gets that fee money. So I wrote back and said I would return the keys to my aunt. I was in tears when I called her. she knows I am upset and said not to give up hope, but honestly I am. I am sure there is someone out there that does not have sign on fee's, after all tho I still have to take the state test!!! Lets hope I donot run into things like this again. I guess it is just a lesson learned.

Jakob

Jakob got a rash from the swimming pool. Poor kid's back and COVERED in Hives. Those white dots you see are hives with the cream on them, next picture is the hives themself after the cream was rubbed in and the next is a picture of Jakob just joking about his hives, and if you look close you will see he does have a few on his front too. At first Griffen Hospital thought it was chicken pox like I did too but he had the vaccine for it before going to preschool. Then they watched them and desided it was a rash not the pox. Jake was all ready to start his summer vacation a day early.....sorry charlie maybe next time LMAO!!!

Kite Festival....

Here are some pictures from the kite festival today that we went to....sorry it has beeen along time since I last post but for those of you that know me and now what went on with Mike then you will understand...... Here are some random pictures that I took.




These next kites are the fighting kites...last kite standing wins!
Back to random kits


I love this one...scuba diver with a skark chasing him

Mike's Aunt Berta, his mom and Mike
The kite I bought at the festival
Bradley's kite I bought him
Jakob's Kite with Aunt Berta's bag attached
Bradley flying his kite
Jakob flying his kite
Mike flying a kite

The Count Down begins

Well the count down begins......6 more days till I HOPEFULLY start my new jerney of Real Estate School. I am getting nervous for many reasons. First off will I be able todo this? Comon lets face it I was terrible at school when I was younger almost failed out graduated by the skin of my teath and here I am going back to school almost 13 years later. Second I already hooked up with a real estate company but something to me is not jiving. I heard how good this company was from my cousin who works for them and how good leads are yadda yadda yadda. When I contacted the owner I never told him who I was till after all the talking was over. But I am not getting special treatment and that is the way I like it. BUT the owner is "good" friends with my aunt and she is like his right hand girl in the company ( even tho she is not a realtor ) and She called me soon after learning that I had been talking with the owner and told me the following things.....my cousin who is her daughter IS not allowed to call her MOM at company meetings. Owner says that is not proper in the buisness world. So it would be best if I do not call her Aunt. Then the other day I sent him a IM becuase I saw he was online and wanted to thank him for the offer of books.....later I get a IM from my aunt telling me NOT to IM owner anymore becuase he hates them and no one IM's him. Well if that is the case then why the hell did he not tell me himself. But I am not going to do anything till I go to this meeting next week with them all and see what I can learn...PLUS I may just stay there for a year...to get help with my schooling when I do not understand something sell my first house and then leave. This way everyone gets money....for all the time they have spent on me helping me. The other thing that I am worried about is that it is all done at home. Even tho it is a real realestate company everyones office is out of there home. There is no "main" office. But at the same time tho I kind of like the idea that I can do this all from home. This way I can still work at the bus company ( for now ) and still be here at home for my family. So that is it in a nut shell.....bottem line...I AM SCARED TO DEATH!!!

Stress, Stress and more Stress

I wanted this blog to become a happy blog but I gotta write, I gotta get my feeling out!!! I am soooo beyond stressed it is not funny anymore. I want to go back to school but I think Mike is with holding doing the income tax return so I can not have the money to go back to school. ( $400 ) Next this sex thing and his is driving me insane. Things he has said about my sex drive ring in my brain and I can not get them out even tho he told me to "forget" that he said it and asked me to try. He is upset because he does not get sex as offen as he would like. We "use" to be a once a week couple, but the more he gets sad and mopey and the more I can not pull him up the more I get sad and stressed and I sware that hampers the sex drive. Mike told me I was not "normal" and I am "unhealthy" when it comes to my sex drive. He had me convinced I was not normal and even broke down and talked to my gyno about it. He told me I am NORMAL and no UNHEALTY, and many many women that he sees has no sex drive and stress is the #1 cause of loss of a sex drive. Well I am a stressful person by nature. And this year these last lets say 3 months have been VERY stressful....forclosure, gas getting shut off, electric getting shut off, work, and then this sex thing. When he talks about this sex thing I try to understand his need, I ask questions BUT because I guess I ask to many question so I can understand better I am NOT allowed to ask questions anymore. He even went as far as telling me he thought my doctor was wrong and i should seek a new gyno ( o.k. not in so many words but it was hinted at ) because my doctor will not prescribe anything. I sit back and look at everything and I am more stressed ALMOST to a depressed state because I feel like my marriage is ONLY based on sex. And because that is how I see it I am MORE upset, and depressed. Maybe I am over reacting, maybe I am not normal, and even tho he asked me to forget he even said that how could I when those words are what he meant. I ask myself can he accept me for me, for who i am and what I am and what I do? Can he love me if he does not get this sex? Sex is not on the top of my "todo" list if you get what I am saying. I could live with out it, BUT I give him sex when I do becuase that is what he wants. I sware he wants me to be some kind of hore, nympho, something along those lines. I talk to my bestfriends C and V about this and C is married and she assures me I am normal, that Mike and I have a better sex life then her and B. V has not had sex in over 1 year and she is not dying and she is normal. AND V is single, can go out and have sex with the first guy that walks into any bar if you get what I am saying but chooses NOT to. C also tells me too that B "wishes" he could have it more than once a week more like 2 times a month but he does not get all mopey, depressed becasue he is not getting any sex. Maybe this is the beginnig of the end....but I am not the one to call it quits...BUT I think Mike will soon because he says I wont change....but why should I change when all he does is make fun of my sex drive and puts me down about it every single time the subject comes up. He even went as far as telling me " the more you do it the more you will like it ".....I just have no clue. I hate feeling like I am bad for feeling the way I do. I hate that I can NOT make him happy unless he gets sex from me and there is no other ways to get a smile on his face. And that last sentance right there leads me to believe again that our marraige is ONLY sex based to him.
If you do not believe me on how he is wallowing in on this sex thing here is his blog link...you tell me....
http://brokenhubby27.blogspot.com/

I am going to stop now...cause what is the use....No matter what I do I am sure everyone out there will agree with him and make me feel worse!!!

Lets go on a picnic....

First you need a jeep to pull the camper

Next you need a camper ( thats it under the green tarp )

Then the picnic table

A chair for your guests to sit on while setting up camp

And last but not least you will need a grill to make those burgers and dogs :)

bad day

well today was a bad day all around. Mike and I had the fight of fights...so bad he did not call me, came home and slept on the couch and then was cold to me when i tryed to reach out. The jury is still out on that verdict. Then Cheryl calls me on my cell this am and tells me to come to the office before I head out todo my K run.
So I get there earlish ( 5 mins or so )and what she tells me I am not ready to hear. She tells me that "Max" has passed away yesterday. Max was one of the special needs kids that I delt with from time to time on the bus. Max was 8 yrs old. I thought maybe she would say Peter was sick again and not going to school again. But instead it was about Max.

So rest in peace Max-A-Million.....I will always remember you and your smile and your goofiness!!

grrrr

well this is a side note to everyone..you may see a double post from me from yesterday...the LONGEST one is the right one.....if it has been fixed by the time you read this them you are reading the correct post...GRRRRRR I have been having problems posting since yesterday.

Updating :)

Well I know it has been awhile and my cousin told me I need to update ( I was getting to it I sware ) so here you all go..
Well for the new year we were in New York. Spent New Years day with Mike's side of the family and it was very nice. Saw everyone but Havah...but that is o.k. she will be there next year. Then we came home to the normal everyday life as I call it. Meetings at school regarding Jakob and his learning...his care free OH WELL attitude yadda yadda yadda ( all because he is ADHD ) We are tring something new with him...a new spelling. It seems easier BUT true to Jakob nature he is still inside after lunch more than he gets to go out. Due to not doing the PROPER homework or "forgetting" it at school...even when he is brought in kicking and screaming to get his homeword by dad does not meen he gets everything. This is a battle we are going to batte with him till he is out of school. Nothing fazes this kid...take it away he says "oh well" he has at one point been stripped of everything and still did not care. Not a normal 9 yr old LMAO!!!
Next exciting news it that DAVE IS HOME!!! Dave got to come home last friday...what a perfect bday gift he gave himself...his birthday was that Monday. He still has along way to go but he is not able to be home full time :)
Oh and then there was my washing machine. Yup it died!!! LUCKY for me I only had to make 1 trip to the NASTY laundry mat. That place ate my quaters....half the washers did not work...and SINCE when was a quater worth 8 mins in the dryer...they use to be worth 10 mins. AND it only took 2 or 3 quaters per dryer to dry your clothes...NOT this place...it was more like 1 hours.... The washer died a few days after xmas...THE SAME dam day my mother got a new washing machine because her dryer died and desided to say oh hell lets just get them bolth. So the day hers is delivered mine dies. So I did what we packed at my mother in laws...then the laundry matt...then my mothers 2 more times and POOF mommy dearest does not want me to "ware out" her BRAND NEW washer so she takes me to the place she bought hers ( and I happen to buy my house from LMAO ) and got me a washing machine!! It was delived on Tuesday. ( but then again lets face it my machine was 25 yrs old easy!!! it was time for a new one ) I was kind of sad to see the machine get loaded up on the truck and drive away BECAUSE it is one of the last things I have that was my grandma's!! Aint I silly!!!
NOW because we got the new washer..I had to over haul the basement just so they could get the old one out and the new one in and desided to make a place for the kids to play there beloved X-box. It is all set just waiting for a 13 or 19 inch TV and a futon or love seat!! Then I can regain my living room again. The basement is what I call almost finished...just needs a rug OR something on the cement floors but everything else is done...walls and everything ( o.k. we tour out the ceiling in one place to run a wire for my dryer...but it is still finished enough down there. I will have to take pics so you understand what I am talking about. ) I also want to finish cleaning the upstairs like living room and dinig room...even the dredded kitchen. I even cleaned the boys room last night....it is not finishe but it is 90% done. The garbage man hauled away 19 bags this week and that was only about a 1/4th of them..did not want to put them into shock. LMAO!!! SO we will put them out slowly....baby steps with the garbage men!!

Well that is about it!!! I will try to update more!!!

I GOT A PICTURE OF MY RING

After many many tries I FINALLY got it :) I know it is not great BUT at least you get the idea!!! My Christmas gift from my husband!!! I love you Mike :) Aint my ring pretty???

John Valby Pics

Vikki sent me some pics from Valby friday night. I am still looking for a picture tho that I think I took on Lisa's camera.....The famous signing!!! But anyway here are 2 pictures that Vikki sent to me.

We sat right on the stage for the show...his back was to us most of the nigh but we still had a great seat....Oh corse that is Vably himself and the other picture is Lisa, my best friend Vikki and myself with my eyes closed. I do not take a great picture!!

Christmas....

Well Christmas has come and gone. This year we can call it a "history" year. We had Dave able to join us on xmas eve. AND he even went home to his house on xmas day for the first time and helped cook the dinner. He glazed the ham and barked orders VERY well. He was the only one who pissed me right the fuck off on xmas day over his potatoe masher...so I just stayed away from him for the rest of the day. I bit my tongue just to make it a happy day for everyone. But anyway.........Friday night I went to Toads place with Mike, Vikki, her friend Lisa, Kevin, Jimmy (??? was that his name ) and I think a guy named Dave. They were all Vikki's friends..well any who the kids spent the night at my mothers house and we went to Toads to see John Valby. What a great show put on my Dr. Dirty himself. Mike even had fun....but he loves shit like. Saterday I went and got the boys while Mike went to get Zachary and find out if there would be a fight for him. AND GUESS WHAT!!!!????? WE GOT ZACHARY!!! Let me explain that. Yes we see him all the time. BUT never ever ever has Mike been able to wake up xmas morning with his son Zachary. He has always stayed at his Moms house...even tho the court order said every other weekend. So for the first time we had xmas morning as a family. But anyway back to saterday.....I learned JUST before picking up the boys that my father had brought my sister to the E.R. cause she thought she broke her leg/foot. She got it tangled up in the hope chest Friday night did not hurt went to bed got up and could not move her foot. So they say it was a bad sprain. So she got crutches. Then on the way home from getting the boys she called me and asked me to get Dave some gateraide and wonton soup. So I stopped in the plaza and got the items requested and off to the home. Dropped them off said see ya tonight at Mommy's for dinner and gift exchanging. On the way out the door the den dad called and had things for brad from the pack meeting the night before...so off to his house to collect. Then FINALLY we got home were I hid upstairs and wrapped till I was tired. Then it was time to go to Mom and Dad's for dinner. Had a nice time and Dave seemed happy to be out of the home. THEN we came back home around 10:30pm and we let each of the boys open a gift. I can not remember what everyone opened BUT ME!!!! I got my diamond ring!!!!! OMG it is perfect!!! I am on cloud nine. He picked out one of those past present future rings. I almost started to cry but my step son was looking at me so I stopped the water works. So I took of my grandmothers diamond ring and replaced it with my new diamond ring from Mike. That right there made my xmas beyond special. Then it was time for the kids to go to bed and this year was the first year I did not put the gifts under the tree that night....hell they know there is no santa and if I want ANY once of sleep they were going to wait till I got up. AND IT WORKED!!! Mike and I got up around 8am and the unwrapping began around 8:10am. They were just as excited. Brad and Jake did not open them all...I wanted it to be fare amount they all opened so they got the rest after we got home from my sisters house. At my sisters house Dave seemed to be in a pissed off mood even bit my head off when I was joking to my sister about her masher and how I was going buy her one from xmas next year...he told me I could buy one but if I did I could KEEP it becuase his masher worked just FINE!! He looked at me so coldly and so meen I almost said FUCK YOU and walked out becuase my sister and I were JOKING about it and he came into the kitchen after the fact like 20 mins and bit my head off. Guess he was not happy to be in HIS house for the first time since he was in his crash on Sept 12th. Then we left later in the afternoon came home and let the kids open the rest of there gifts. Then while the kids and Mike stayed home to play with the new stash of stuff I went back to my mothers house to see all my aunts and uncles and a few cousins. Then after bringin my uncle al hom I was home around 11pm. But it was truely the BEST christmas for me in a very very long time!!! Christmas has not been Christmas to me since the first year we did it with out gram...but this year seemed to work and it will be in my heart and soul forever!!! The pictures are kind of out of order a bit below and I TRIED to get a shot of my ring but it comes out blurry!!! So I will keep tring to get it right and post that as soon as I can. Well gotta run...doing laundry...going to Mikes family on Thursday...






Dave sitting on a couch for the first time since Sept. 12th. ( also first time in a house. ) And Sally Ann sporting her crouches...They say she sprained her ankle at the hospital...time will tell. What a cute couple.
Marci, Shane, and Ashely
Aunt Sharon
Unlce Al and Cousin Ciel
Uncle Monty and Uncle Bob
Aunt Alice, Aunt Sue, Aunt Janet, and Aunt Shirley
Litle Mikey, Uncle Bob, Uncle Mike and Mom
This blanket she started with the help of gram many
years ago. Gram was never able to finish it due to making
all us grandchildren and great grandchildren our own.
So every year she has done one row on it...till Aunt Alice
Got the afgan from her daughter ( no small feet ) and
she finished it. She was crying beause she NEVER EVER
thought she would see the day it would become finished.
Plus it was like having gram there :)
Aunt Janet is crying now.....Aunt Sue is holding her
Now she is getting to open it...and she may have a clue.....
Aunt Janet getting her xmas gift taken away
Oh what a couple they make...
The Grandkids...Jake, Brad, Zach and Alex
Jakob, Bradley and Zachary...xmas eve

About me at Christmas time

I was reading random blogs today.... and saw this so I said ..." what the hell" so here it goes :)


Welcome to the 2005 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends!Everyone has time for a few moments of fun! Don't be a party pooper!!!
1. Eggnog or Hot Chocolate? Eggnog
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? His elveswrap them-duh! (good answer, going to keep that one)
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored lights
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No
5. When do you put your decorations up? Usally the 2end week of Dec.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Was my grandmothers ham...now my aunt makes it...almost as good as grams
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Going to my grandmothers house and being packed in there...not a place to sit..the floor was taken, the stairs were taken...EVERYONE was there. ( then again my mom is one of 8 and back then there was 20 grandchildren and a few great grandchildren..so it was a house full )
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? When I found the gifts in the basement...but I never let on that I knew...oh Wait are you telling me that my mom lied and those were not broght by the elves becuase santa could not get to every house on xmas eve?
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes that is when we do our exchange with my mother father sister nephew and brother in law
10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? What ever cookies I have in the house
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? LOVE IT!!! Makes everything so pretty
.12. Can you ice skate? I have no idea have not been in years....last time I think was when I was a teenager!
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? It had to my 5 speed bike....I finally got a bike of my own that was not used!!! And believe it or not My boys ride that bike still to this day when they go over my mothers house....even tho I should bring it home and take bike rides with the boys more
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Seeing all the family members taht I can!!!
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Never eat it cause I always pig out on the main meal !!
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Going to my mothers house on xmas eve
17. What tops your tree? A star that kind of wont sit up right...its retarted just like me
18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? O.k. I am bad but I love opening gifts...and I miss being a kid!!
19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? Sielent Night
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yummy
21. What is your favorite holiday movie? The Best Christmas Pagent Ever...and The Christmas Story

this and that

Mr. Petz's Pary..
Mrs. Petz



Wow it has been almost a week. Hmmm where to begin. Lets see We had alot of snow last weekend. This picture is when I started to go outside and clean the snow off Mike's car and shovel. I think we got almost 10 inches. Needless to say the kids got a "snow" day for this. Brad and Jakob and the kids next door had alot of fun playing that afternoon...Jakob not so much outside but hey he got to play the beloved xbox with out Brad saying it was his turn yadda yadda yadda. Alex the neighbor tho thought that it would be fun to think of the snow blower as a sprinkler system...aka snow sprinkler and kept running in and out of it. Well then that night Brad was "spoz" to go to scouts..but because mike was at the station working I had the van and seeing I heard horor stories about what she can not do in the snow/ice I desided it would be safer to stay home...and boy oh boy I think it was a good idea. Here is why....Saterday morning I got a phone call from Lori...Lori is a mom I met through scouts bolth her sons are in bolth my sons dens. Lori asked what I thought about Brad and Lewis, and Zachary being kicked out of there den. I was like WHAT???!!!????!!! and How they asked Wayne her husband to be the new Den father becuase Den 3 was going to be split...now are we holding onto our seat...this is the reason why.......I guess I have an attitude problem and so do the other parents of Lewis and Zachary..... I can understand Zachary but come on now. I know I got upset at the last den meeting said it was not right what I thought was going on...but said i was sorry for the way I came across....then 2 days later we went to help wrap gifts for the fort Drum kids in new york and this man and myself were getting along just fine....Now I got a BAD attitude and I am no longer welcome in his den. This man could not even tell me this on the phone when I called him to tell him I was not going to the meeting that night. He told me when the next den meeting was....what time his xmas party was at his house that he invited the boys to last month..yadda yadda yadda...the hole dam time he KNEW that my son was no longer part of his den. But there is alot more to the story but in the end Brad is now in a new Den with a new Den father....and the new den is made up of all the misfit scouts and 2 other boys...on becuase his dad is the new den parent and the other just could not stand the back stabbing that went on and how this all took place. O.k. done and over...next comes sunday and Jakob's bday party...OMG my baby is 9!!!!! I desided to help keep up with Dave's spirits I would have the party at the home. SO we had cake at the nurcing home so this way Dave could be part of the party. Dave was tired tho becuase the night before he made his first trip out of the hospital ( aka rehab, hosp, nurcing home ) and went to church at his church. He even stood UP on his own!!! GO DAVE!! But anyway the party was nice. Tuesday came and yup it was Jakob's real bday...so we let Jakob choose where he wanted to eat....and of corse true to all kids nature he chose McDonalds....He could of had HomeTown anything but he chose the golden arches. After that we went to Blockbuster and rented 2 movies and bought Jakob Halo 2 for his bday. The rest of the week was calm till today....Today was the sunday school reunion....and Man oh Man there were alot of people there. Almost my hole sunday school class was there minus Matt who is over in germany. But people i had not thought of in ages!!! I was just delighted to see everyone. Mr and Mrs Petz still look the same...only us kids have aged. Well there are pictures above but they are randon....but at least I know what they are...and maybe some of you out there do too. :)